Where to Start

One might be surprised how often I am asked this question.  I will be honest and tell you that it depends on where you are in life.  Pulling a teen out of public middle school is different than pulling a highschooler out of Catholic high school.  Everyone knows that their child is very different and so is each mom trying to learn something new.  There is no one set way to begin.  This post is to focus on mom though.

I think this is pretty universal as far as the needs of each woman deciding to homeschool their kids.  Actually this is crucial for all of us especially stay at home moms.   We need to find your passion or what you enjoy and then find like minded women who share that passion.  Humans are social creatures.  We learn and feed off of each other.  We will benefit from social time.  Our need for social time with like minded peers begins with our girlfriends when we are very young and it doesn't go away when we get married.  Sure our hubby is our best friend but all girls know that you sometimes get mad at your best friend.

The first step in homeschooling, even if you are thinking about maybe homeschooling your current newborn 5 years from now, is to find a support group.  You might have to create one.   I have discovered that for Catholics it is crucial to build a Catholic homeschooling group or to create one.  (Catholic friends that have gone to other groups mostly non denominational but Christian have had their children decide to abandon their beliefs in young adulthood.)  There is nothing better than the Catholic support.  Build your faith and your child's faith while at the same time creating a community within a community of like minded people.  The risk is that sometimes you will run into the "supercatholic" that tends to bash anything and everything of the world.  It is better to find balance with someone over doing it than it is to maintain your beliefs with others that are out to safe you from those beliefs.  Don't ever loose focus on the goal being Heaven and the path being the Catholic Church, homeschooling can help in finding that path.  I think that like minded peers is more important for mom than it is for the kids.  The students can play with siblings but mom must have support.  If it doesn't exist in your area create it and visit others in near towns via the internet and yahoo groups.

I was recently asked where to begin by a new mom to the stay at home world and one who wants to later being a homeschooling family as well.   My advice to find friends that are also on this path.  You can help each other.  They will keep you sane.

These are a few of my friends.  The picture taken a few years back.  We now try to meet each week for Coffee and a study of our faith.  Yes we mostly discuss our lives but it helps so much that we have each other.

Getting Started Again

It can be very hard to get back on track when life takes you away from the books. If you read my family blog you know that we had several people were close to pass away in October last year. These were close friends of me and then one of my teenagers. Sometimes God sends us lessons that are harder than we could come up with on our own. There were days that I just didn’t pull out books because we wanted to visit with one of these people or because we were pouring our hearts into a project for one of these people. Some days we were just heart broken and other days we spend comforting someone else that was heart broken.




The experience was wonderful. I could never have taught my children those lessons of caring for your neighbor, the value of suffering, or the joy of heaven without the examples of these dear individuals. We learned how quickly life can change, how short life can be, how age and illness shouldn’t effect how kind a gracious one is. We learned that being Christ-like is often harder that we might think but require nothing more than an ear to listen and a heart to love.



Where to begin after all that I recommend a good read aloud for the family. Wait a little while. Do some school work through out but unite the group with a good story. I allow coloring of related sheets that I would have already printed to help ease the body and soul back into the work. We have been reading the Chronicles of Narnia and I must admit that it was chosen by someone other than me but it is the perfect choice. The series of books were at hand when the idea of a read a loud hit. For other reasons it was the perfect choice, I will post more on those in particular later.



We have used this method before and it always seams to work. It inspired more learning because stories always do. It helps us to turn the TV and computers off to refocus on school. It gives the little ones something to be a part of making them less distracting when the highschoolers sit to do the tougher subject. There is a huge benefit to a family read a loud. Often it unites the family as they journey through the book together. It gives everyone a theme to interact with. Often the stories inspire other stories and other questions. To follow those Rabbit Trails will lead to the child’s true interest.



If you have had tragedy or even the joy of the birth of a child that has cause you get off track. If you yourself need to be re-inspired to get tough again but don’t want to the very first day try this plan. Start with a week of guided read a loud. I find that I need to read the stories to offer the correct inflections. You must look ahead in the book and find characters or images that you can find coloring sheets for. The older ones need the peaceful action of coloring sometimes to calm their minds from all the craziness that happens in the teen years, especially if you have also recently had a major change in life.



Good luck getting back on track. Don’t be grudge what took you off, God sent them for your growth. Now pick up a good book, cuddle with your kiddos and find your new beginning.

What book have you found to be the most helpful during the course of homeschooling?

There are so many Catholic home schooling books. They all help a little but the book that has given me the most help in these years while the kiddos are at home has nothing to do with home schooling. I Should Have Seen It Coming When The Rabbit Died by Teresa Blomingdale is a book that I go back to over and over again. It was first printed in 1979 and was one of my mom’s paperback books. I read it when the older ones were young because the title looked funny. The author had ten children in 12 years. She was a mom from the late 50s and the 60s. She loved her family and children. She was Catholic and the book is about her experience of having ten children as a Catholic woman. She writes with so much humor and love. Her children all went to Catholic School but her drive and passion for her children is like mine.

After the author tells many amusing and moving tales of her children the book ends with an Epilogue chapter. The title is “The best is yet to be” and this is my favorite part of the book. The author describes various conversations that she had with her father as she grew up. He would always tell her not to worry because the best was yet to be. She was very sad that he passed away before her oldest son got married. She describes how she couldn’t wait for college, then a job, then true love, then marriage, then children etc. etc. etc. She says that she thought watching her young children open gifts at Christmas was the best it could ever be, but her father tells her the “best is yet to be”. She understands that statement more fully later when she enjoys watching her older children helping their younger siblings on another Christmas morning.

The book ends as she looks over the ceremony of her son’s wedding. She ponders how it could ever be better than this moment. A beautiful Mass with her son so in love with his bride on the alter surrounded by all the siblings. Everyone is there dressed to the nines. They are all with God in church and together as a family, except for her deceased father. As she wonders how any moment could ever compare to the joy she feels right then she hears her father whisper to her. She knows he is whispering from heaven to tell her, “The BEST is yet to be.”

There have been many times when things are bad in our family life. Like when we had to decide what to do with the one that needed open heart surgery. There have been many joyous moments. At every one I hear those words and am reminded of heaven. This silly little paperback book written years ago has helped me to remain focused on Him and on heaven. For the my family, heaven is the reason we home school.

What are some reasons you decided to home school?

Year before I met my husband I met an incredible family. This family was unique in that they homeschooled. The mom said that it was because she wanted a stronger faith instruction for her children. These kids were the coolest kids I had ever met. They were all beautiful and smart. They were all very athletic and had an incredible love for life and each other, even the cousins. These were not dorky kids at all. They were a part of the community in their social work, volunteered at church, had jobs and yet were kept home for school.

These teens and young adults went to Mass everyday, they prayed the rosary as a group just about every day, they stomped each other at some game (soccer, football, waffle ball, hoops etc. ) every day. The more I spent time around them the more I wanted to get to know Christ. My faith grew so much just being around these people. Where did that passion come from?

I think it had to do with the fact that they were home schooled. Their moms pulled them out of the strong Catholic school because the faith wasn’t a strong enough part of the day. These were fun people who were real. They could have cared less what I thought of them. I asked my friend where that came from. He said it was home schooling. He was allowed to grow up with confidence because his mom believed in him and he had never heard to the contrary. I was in love with my faith but couldn’t share it like these kids. I decided then I wanted that passion and self confidence for my children if I was ever lucky enough to get married.

Convincing dad was another issue. As it turned out is was God's will. I still thank him for allowing me to see that humble example in my young life.

Has homeschooling helped your children to be more able and willing to stand up for what they believe?

Their faith is their life. It is part of everything we do. They can not imagine things happening without their faith. They have never had the misfortune of seeing things happen outside of faith. Yes I think they stand up for it all the time without even knowing they are doing anything special.

A few years back the then 5 year old noticed that one of the swim team coaches said something about not knowing who The Blessed Mother Mary was. This child took her coach the small statue she had bought on vacation the previous summer to give to her. I was worried she would offend the girl. My daughter didn’t care. She said, “Our coach needs to know Mary. She doesn’t know her and Mary wants to get close to her.” Our daughter gave it to her with great confidence. Two years later this same daughter was having a bad day at swim team. This coach told her not to get upset. She told her, “I know that your friend Mary would want you to be strong. I still have her on my dresser. I talk to Her every day!” Wow, our strong willed daughter is spreading her faith without even knowing.

What are some negative effects you see in homeschooling?

As a mom I don’t get alone time. It is so important for us moms to have some social interaction of our own. It becomes limited when home schooling. I have to search it out to get it.

For the kids I see a wondering what school would be like. I don’t think it is really a disadvantage. They also get to see mom at her worst. I don’t know if this is really bad or not. Some kids that go to school just think mom has an easy day cleaning, laundry and running errands. They don’t see her stress out when a bill is due and there is no money to pay it. Some might think this is a good thing. I don’t. I think it is unrealistic. My kids see the good and the bad.

What are some positive effects you see in homeschooling?

The most important effect I have seen is self confidence.

This is an old example but still very appropriate. Many years back we were at the home of relatives. Many extended family members was there. One of the Aunts corners me and begins a conversation out of the blue. She is telling me how concerned she is about the social life of our children, (I don’t even think she knew their names but was still concerned for their socialization.) It seamed beyond her comprehension how I could even consider that my daughter was getting all the interaction that she needed.

While I was trying to truly listen with charity knowing that another family member had set her up. I watched a scene in the corner of my eye. I watched this kind woman’s heavyset grandson. He was awkward in his actions. He was about 9 or 10 and would not look any body in the eye. He was hiding under the kitchen table where his grandmother and I were talking. My oldest (who was apparently so anti social that she was considered a freak by family) walked up to the table, pulled back a chair. She was only about 7 at the time. I watched her coax this “well adjusted schooled” child from under the table and down to the basement to join the other kids while they were playing. She wasn’t told to include him and she had never met him. I watched her just be Christian and work to include someone when that person was having a hard time. It was so ironic to watch while I was being shown the ‘truth’ by well meaning family.

My children are very aware of each other and others. They are kind, polite and thoughtful. They remember everything, we have huge discussions as we pray for people at night prayer time. I have watched them help at functions put on by schools, they always help clean up and never leave someone out. I never see those same things in school children.

I see this strong character in each of my children. I see children that are polite, kind, trusting, helpful and independent thinkers. They value heaven and they know Christ. I ask for a more important positive effect from homeschooling.

Are your children responsible enough to one day have a family? If so, how has homeschooling influenced this?

An example from our daily life might illustrate my answer. Dad and I were sitting in our bed room just off the family room. A candle was lit on the coffee table as it usually is. We heard a scream and cries which we often hear. As it turns out the four year old had been ‘reading’ a piece paper that she kept moving closer to the light. It caught on fire. The little one froze and did nothing as this paper burned in her hand. We heard the 10 year old screech and looked out to see the 11 year old pushing the four year old out of harms way, taking the paper and shoving it into a cup of coffee that was sitting there. That was impressive to us. At 11 I would have been frozen, this young one took action. We have seen things like this over and over again.

Home school kids are in the real world. Our son didn’t need to go to a special presentation from a fire fighter to learn not to panic and what to do. He knew he needed liquid and fast. He didn’t wait for an adult to ‘give him permission’ to react he just took care of things. In one week I can give you 100 stories just like this. Kids in school wait to told to try something, to do something etc.etc. Home school kids seam to not be afraid of life. They understand family. They do not get to hide from their family at school. I feel that a home school family has a more rounded and real family life.

Yes they are responsible enough to one day have their own families. I think that also have a better idea of what to expect. More realistic.

Are you children, especially your older children open to big families?

Oh My gosh YES!!! Our oldest has been reminding me that she will go away to college soon. She wants us to have another one so she can get to know him/her before she goes to college. Our last one was a shock. To be honest mom and dad were taken back by this news. It wasn’t in our plans but all of the children were ecstatic. I can not even begin to describe the joy we can see in each of their faces when they share in the joy of a new life.

They all seam to want to have bigger families when they get older. One says that says she might not home school her six because it would be very hard to be a doctor and a home schooling mom. She also feels that six is all she will have. I don’t think that she realizes that is a large number. Another has always said that she wants a dozen. One is undecided between being a nun or having 14. I just pray that they are open to what God wants of them. It is very contrary to society but I do hope that they can accept God's will no matter what it might be. I have tried to teach them the skills and a strong faith base to handle things if God has in a path that doesn’t include children. I know it would be hard but I am confident that they will accept his will and continue to love God. If any of them can not have children it will be very hard.

How has having children with learning disabilities affected the older student/sibling?

That is a very interesting question. Our oldest has never known any different. At times she would follow my example and get angry that they were not catching on. I think she thought, like I did, that they were just lazy and not really trying. That frustrated her to no end. She was also worried about ourside family and what she would say to them. It did become easier for her when we found out about the ‘disabilities’ we were looking at and actually labeled them. She let me do the research but always wanted an update. She often offered her opinions that helped me decide what issues we were dealing with.

She also defended them at times. She was in a girls group for awhile and when the next daughter joined; the other girls made fun of her for not reading. Our oldest wasted no time in defending her sister. She wasn’t embarrassed by her. That would be different if they were in school, I think. Our oldest felt like she had invested herself in raising and teaching her sister right along with me. She felt a little guilty that her sister wasn’t reading, just like like I did. She also saw how hard her sister really worked to read one word, she saw for herself that her sister was very smart even though it didn’t look to this group of girls.

Last year we decided that the math program we were using was too difficult for the ones with the learning issues. I would never have thought that our oldest had learning issues and yet she asked if she could change programs as well. In all of our searching for what worked in the other kiddos the oldest paid close attention to her own learning styles. She now asks for stuff that works better for her. I think that will give her a huge advantage in college. She will know how to search out help if she needs it. Knowing when to ask for help is an important skill to learn in life.

I don't think she is burdened by any of it. I really believe she is a better student based on her siblings and their issues. If anything she has learned the kindness and compasion that we all need to succeed in life. She is closer to heaven having had to learn to deal with it all.

How has having children in all age groups/a big family affected school?

I used to think that the different ages could really make it difficult at times. Then I was put into place many years ago by another home schooling mother. This woman had 16 kids at the time and I was just pregnant with number 6. I remember asking her a question that I thought was very profound and her answer shocked me. She started her reply with, “Well if I ONLY had 6, I would blah, blah, blah.” I had never thought of it that way but she reminded me that the ages, the numbers, the personalities that I had were all from God. Someone else always has it worse and someone else has it better. It just depended on how they looked at it. I decided right then that until I had 16 like she did I would never complain or allow myself to use the number or age range as an excuse to not learn. We might learn differently but we would still learn.

It would be a lie to say that our school day isn’t influenced at all by the ages. I can’t even begin to say how many times we stop a lesson to deal with a very poopy diaper, or stopping because one of the little ones is running through the room with a knife. It is a good day when the older ones sit still no matter what the distraction.

To be honest the biggest issue we deal with is dad working from home and not the babies. He often comes in to share news, or ask my help or wants to kiddos to talk to his mom or whatever. He is our principal so we try to not get too upset and he tries to only interrupt when it is important. I love that we are all together to get good or bad news. We can pray right away and I don’t have to wait for people to get off an ugly old school bus before I tell the kids.

What are some ways you have used family life to influence school?

We start the day with prayer. We first begin by talking about what family news we might have or reminding each other of what we might need to pray for. Like our family friend might need special prayers because of a medical test she is having done today, etc. We might also remind them that dad will not be home all day today, that is odd for us because dad works from a home office, or that mom and dad might be going shopping that afternoon. During our brief time in a group in the morning everyone is present, except dad. I have nursed babies during this time and now the 2-year old must color in her book. It is as much family time as it is school time. The two are the same thing in our home.

What are some ways you have incorporated school into family life?

Home school is part of us. We have never done any other form of school. Learning is very natural. We all have a desire to learn about things that interest us. Being a home schooling family means we dive into things we really love.

Last semester we studied Ancient Egypt. We read aloud from books on Ancient Egypt every day. We watched movies about Egypt. When we went to visit family in St. Louis we made sure to fit in a visit to the museum that had three mummies and a huge Egyptian display.

Last year we focused on Astronomy that meant that as a family we held passes to NASA and we often cuddled around to TV to watch the latest show about the planets. One child got a telescope for Christmas last year. We all enjoyed watching the stars with him.

We try to study many things as a group even though we are different ages. That way we can have great conversations and our trips can interest everyone. The younger kids don’t get as much out of it and don’t take notes like the big kiddos. They are learning though. When we come back around to those subjects they will already know some of it.

There is no incorporation needed it is just who we are!