Morning Out

Dad works from home.  This has been great at times and a real pain at other times.  J had a very important conference call scheduled.  He needed to give the call his absolute attention.   It was much easier for us to vacate the home for the morning.   After morning Mass I took the crowd to a fun McDonalds (has a play place) for breakfast.

Beautiful - Adorable

It ended up being a fun morning.  The twins are just days from turning one and they had a blast.  Adorable and Beautiful preferred to be together in the tubes. 

I post this to remind us all to enjoy time to have fun.  I know too many homeschoolers that are so super focused on school work that the kids are stressed out.  One dangerous trap is that too often these over focused families loose site of the goal of heaven.  I have seen so many families use an intense programs, then not have time to take breaks and enjoy each other's company.  Some of these families end up with kids that are college drop outs.  Once the kids have a little freedom, they rebel completely.  We all look into the eyes of our little one year old and see the world.  I still see those endless possibilities in my adult children.  They are open to life, all of it - including the learning, the fun, the worship, the joy.  The well rounded person sees the world for that it has to offer not what it can for you.  To my dear fellow homeschooling moms, remember to enjoy your time with the children.  Teach them to seek Heaven in all that they do. In the end it is the only thing that is important.

You are the mom!

Sometimes just reminding yourself that you are the mom, the one in charge, can bring you peace.  I love my kiddos and I find them to be very insightful.  They know what they like to study.  They are also very aware of their own strengths and weaknesses.  I pride myself in listening to them.  Over the years I have tried to cater to their needs and desires more that that old preconceived notion of the school year that I created when I was in college learning how to teach.  So to be fair my kids have actively shaped their education and at times it has been too much and at other times it has been lacking.  I believe that in the end  Pooker is doing well in college after finder her groove and I suspect the others will when their time comes.  After years of worrying about getting it all in I have settled down to realize that I want to enjoy the process more and worry less. 

This summer has been a little difficult.  As my oldest establishes herself while growing into an independent woman there are some growing pains.  One of those pains is her pointing out my faults.  This is not deliberate or vindictive just part of it.  I watch her grow closer to her boyfriend and his family and they will blend the best of both worlds to some day create their own, God willing.  Seeing what she will throw out from her side and take from his can be hard to watch if you over analyze it.  (OK I admit that I have wasted way too much time thinking about it all.)

Last night I sat with two girlfriends discussing our approach for the upcoming school year.  They are both looking forward and I was expressing a little dread and doubt in what I wanted to do.  Then I was so lovingly reminded by these ladies that I have great kids.  Even if Pooker is seeing a gap that doesn't mean there is one.  These children were given to me for a reason.  They are my path to heaven and in that same respect I am part of their path as well.  God linked us for the greater good.  My choices are the right ones for these guys.   

Many times over the years I have listened to others tell me their choices for their families.  I have held my tongue while thinking, "That sounds horrible, how can they even think about doing that?"  Only to observe the situation over time and see that it was in fact the right choice for that family.  It would not have been right for my family but it was for them.  I trust that in these situations and need to also trust that in my situation.  Oh the PEACE that has again entered my heart and the JOY I am having as I prepare for this school year.  I know that I am not perfect but what I am offering my students is prayed about and I need to trust that outcome, I need to trust my outcome, God does.  I am the mom, I get to make the choices. 

 
So to help you as you prepare to begin your school year.  Trust yourself.  Don't care too much about what your best friend is doing.  Don't worry too much about what your mother-in-law says you are doing wrong.  Don't worry about too much time on what your son wants to study.  Don't questions yourself.  Trust that God made you the mom for a reason, you got it under control.  You are the mom!

What are some negative effects you see in homeschooling?

As a mom I don’t get alone time. It is so important for us moms to have some social interaction of our own. It becomes limited when home schooling. I have to search it out to get it.

For the kids I see a wondering what school would be like. I don’t think it is really a disadvantage. They also get to see mom at her worst. I don’t know if this is really bad or not. Some kids that go to school just think mom has an easy day cleaning, laundry and running errands. They don’t see her stress out when a bill is due and there is no money to pay it. Some might think this is a good thing. I don’t. I think it is unrealistic. My kids see the good and the bad.

Note sent to a new friend from the pool. 8-7-08

I just wanted to plant one little seed with you for right now. You seam very concerned that you will not teach them something that they need to know. The only thing that we really need to learn in life is God's love. Now the reality of learning God's love is by learning about his earth and everything in it. I get so excited that it becomes hard to pick my words. Forgive me. My point goes back to basic Baltimore Catechism. Why did God make you? God made me to know Him, love Him, and serve Him in this world so that I can be happy with Him in the next. (or whatever) The point is that all your children must truly learn is the path to heaven. Often the school setting (even a Catholic or private school) does more harm than good in that ultimate goal of heaven.

So before we even begin to talk about programs, tests, books, or even the social issues I encourage you and your husband to look at our faith. You will find the answer there. Read the promises that you make during your child's baptism. Study the graces that are freely given to the parents who bring their child to Him. Read the catechism on baptism. Read what JP II said about the parents responsibility on education of a child. Refresh your marriage vows. Look over them. During a Catholic wedding we promise to raise our children in Him.

The grace to know what to do is given to the parents. Only mom and dad will know what is best. Don't let a grandparent, aunt or friend make that decision. Ultimately I leave that to dad as head of the family. God gives him the grace not me. That doesn't mean leave it up to him it just means that you might be surprised that while you worry about the detaills your husband might become confidant one way or another. Don't fight his confidence get strength from him. You may start homeschooling right away and you may do it in two years, you might home school for one and put them back. Just be open. God will let you know.

It does sound like He is guiding you. Do not worry. You, the Mom and Dad of a child of God can not mess up. You are not doing this alone. You will not fail. God will never allow it. What ever happens will be guided as long as you are open to it. No one will ever care about the success of your children academically or spiritually as much as you two. In my opinion you two, dad making the major decisions and mom faithfully caring them out (Just like St. Joseph leaving in the middle of the night with Mary having to make a new home.) are the only ones qualified to educate your children. Degrees do not matter. Our beautiful faith tells us that the grace to care for a child is given to us at marriage. It is a promise.

I am not trying to sound all crazy but it is the truth. You will need to concentrate on how to carry out that education. Realizing that you are the parent is sometimes the hardest thing in making the decision. I am sorry to ramble. I am just so excited every time I hear that a faithful person is trying to discern homeschooling. It is a gift from God. I cannot imagine sending a child to a stranger to care for the details that come naturally to me. Our culture tells us the opposite. It makes me angry to think about it.

In short: YES you can do it, you are called to it by baptism and marriage, you will not fail, you will love it!!!! Don't worry. Enjoy the process. I have found that when God starts to pull at your heart. The best thing to do is sit back and enjoy it. The road may get rocky but the bumps are what make the ride fun, just ask the kids who sit in the back seat.